Are You Ready to Become a Swinger?

One of the best things about answering all of your sex questions is that we can run our mouths for a few paragraphs and come off like we’re not judging you — well, of course we’re not judging you. Whatever consenting adults want to do is their business, and we believe that you should have as much information as possible to really get your life in order — your sex life, that is!

So, let’s talk about a subject that seems to keep getting mentioned in emails and such: swinging. For many people, the very idea of going outside of their relationship is a complete no-no. However, let’s get a few things straight right off the bat. Swinging is not cheating at all — in fact, swingers tend to have a very strong ethical code about this. You won’t see people hiding at a swinger party because they’re too scared to go home to their wives. Swinging is all about openness, communication, and consent. Those themes might seem familiar to you because they’ve been mentioned numerous times in the past. However, they are all components that really combine together to form the glue behind a lot of things that you might want to bring into your sex life.

What IS swinging, anyway? Well, in a nutshell, swinging is all about having another partner other than the one you’re currently with. The term was originally coined for married couples that would go out to special parties where one or both partners could sleep with other people openly, all without holding secrets. It has been expanded to include non-married couples that engage in this practice.

It’s important to note that if you’re m=lacking love in your primary relationship that you can’t find it at a swinger’s party. Swingers are generally very particular about only playing with people that understand the difference between sex and love. It’s one thing to have a hot, steamy time at a party, it’s another thing to try to stretch outside the boundaries and try to build a relationship that wont’ last. While it’s true that there have been cases of couples falling apart after going to a swinger’s party, that doesn’t mean that it will necessarily happen to you. It’s all about maintaining communication and trust. You don’t want to try to introduce a concept like swinging into a relationship that already ahs trust issues, as it will only make things worse in the long run.

So, are you really ready for swinging? That’s something that you have to decide for yourself. No one can give you a badge that says that you’re ready for swinging, nor can anyone stop and tell you that you aren’t ready for swinging. It’s a personal thing, which has pros and cons to it — just like any other decision.

There are a few tips to really making swinging work, if you’re ready and willing to dive in.

First and foremost, you need to have a set of goals in your head every time you go to a swinger’s party. You will be in a mode where people are looking at you, and you are looking at them. The last thing that you will want to deal with is feeling nervous — there’s just no time for that. People at swinging parties tend to make their decisions quickly whether they want you or they don’t.

Don’t take it personally if a couple decides to pass on you, or thinks that they would rather avoid you. Everything is so personal during a swinger’s party, and swingers are fickle at times.

Safety at swinging parties is important. You will want to make sure that you’re using protection at all times, and to reject anyone that tries to get you to change your mind. After all, is it really worth risking a sexually transmitted infection just to get a few moments of skin on skin contact? Definitely not.

Aside from safety, you will also want to stop and think about actual performance. Remember that you’re going to be on display, so it’s better to make sure that you will be able to handle it. The people at the party will be watching you, but you shouldn’t feel like you won’t be able to have a good time. Still, you might find that it takes a few parties under your belt before you really feel excited enough to keep going with glee — the first few times might be a little frightening. All the same, swinging parties are pretty fun.

Keep in mind that the first few times that you do attend, you don’t have to try to have sex with anyone. You could take the first few sessions as a testing bed where all of you really do is just talk to people — sometimes this is exciting enough for you to take things to the next level. Like the other guests at the party, you’ll be watching things happen.

Now, you might find that people are looking at your partner more than you. This isn’t the time to get jealous. You will need to sit back and take some pride in the fact that everyone wants to sleep with your partner as much as you do. Depending on what you work out with your partner, you might ask to be in the room or participating while other people are with your partner.

This could mean holding your partner against you while they’re engaging in oral sex with other people, or being the willing participant in a threesome where you only interact with your partner, while someone else is with them at the same time.

If you couldn’t tell by now, this is something that is definitely not an everyday thing. You have to build your relationship to the point where you can accommodate a threesome without any problems — why not start talking things over with your partner today?